41 characters that I have …
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By Kelly Rudolph
Knowing the “right” thing to say and do as parents is daunting. I’m guessing you don’t feel like a rock star parent 24/7.
But what if I told you there is ONE word you can add to your vocabulary that will help set your kids up for success for the rest of their lives? You’d let it flow effortlessly from your parenting lips, right?
Well, there is such a word, and that word is — “practice.”
And it cultivates confidence and a “can do” attitude in kids when you use the word “practice” in place of the (more commonly used) word “try.” And here’s why:
Try implies failure, or at the very least, doubt. From a very young age, we are always told to “try this,” “try that” and “try, try again” … “just try.” But “try” implies the act of wondering what will happen instead of having a clear intention of success.
How many times have you heard someone say they tried something over and over, and it didn’t work? Or that they will try to call you or come over and never show?
Our subconscious programming tells us that try is a way out (even a cop-out ) for many. It’s a word we use when we don’t expect success or don’t want to do something. “Oh well, at least you tried.”
The word “practice,” however, implies improvement and success. Practice always makes you better.
Everyone who is good at anything has practiced — doctors, musicians, athletes, students, speakers, singers and the list goes on and on. Did they try it the first time to see if they wanted to pursue it? Yes, but when it came to improving, they practiced.
Even toddlers learning to walk are practicing. They have every intention of walking successfully, and they keep at it until they do … and that in itself is a tremendous lesson for us adults.
If you want to remove the detrimental t-word from your parenting vocabulary altogether (which I HIGHLY recommend), you can replace it with action and success oriented phrases like “do it,” and see if you like it. Or let’s “look into it,” and see if it’s something you want to do. Or you could say, “Check it out,” and see what you think.
These alternative phrases don’t have the same negative association as the word “try.”
One of my clients was practicing empowering language with her kids after she felt the tremendous difference positive language changes made in her own life.
Her 3-year old son wanted her to tie his shoes for him. She said, “You can tie your shoes.” To which he replied, “I tried. I can’t do it. You tie them.”
She said, “Just practice. You can do it, practice makes you better.” After successfully tying his shoes on the first attempt as he said the word “practice” to himself, he went over to his 18-month-old sister who was a bit frustrated trying to get one of her toys to work and told her, “You can do it. Just practice,” and he cheered her on until she did it before telling his mom, “I’m a good big brother.”
In that powerful moment, my client and her children were given a gift with a simple concept — that will empower them for the rest of their lives. Her kids will know they can always improve instead of wondering if they will succeed.
So, which do you want for yourself and your child, “try,” which implies doubt and failure — or “practice,” which implies improvement and success?
Here’s the tricky part. You’ve probably been using the t-word your whole life, so it may take a while to get the hang of saying practice instead. Be gentle with yourself and keep practicing. Your kids are watching you and modeling what you do much more than they are listening to what you say.
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Barcelona completed an historic second treble with a 3-1 victory over Juventus in the UEFA Champions League final on Saturday. Here we relive the key moments of drama from the Berlin showdown:
4 – Goal: A dream start for Barcelona. A spectacular ball forward from Lionel Messi is controlled wonderfully by Jordi Alba. The defender lays it off for Neymar, who plays it through for Andres Iniesta after a bit of trickery – the Barca skipper then rolling a pass across for Ivan Rakitic to apply a simple left-footed finish from 10 yards. All bar one of Barca’s outfield players get a touch in the build-up to the opener.
8 – A ball over the top for Neymar is played into the area first time, but Stephan Lichtsteiner blocks it with his arm. The referee says there was little he could do about it as he denies Barcelona a penalty.
11 – Arturo Vidal is a bit over-zealous early on and picks up a warning following a series of fouls, but it is not long before he arrives late at the feet of Sergio Busquets and is shown the first yellow card of the encounter.
15 – Barcelona show no signs of slowing down. Luis Suarez – the only Barca man not involved in the early goal – makes a good run into the area from the right and squares a pass for Dani Alves. The right-back unleashes a well-placed shot but goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon reacts brilliantly to get a hand to it before the follow-up is knocked onto the roof of the net.
22 – Vidal – already booked – continues to throw his weight around and is pulled up for a foul on Alves. The Chilean then proceeds to swing an arm carelessly into the back of the head of the full-back before waving a finger in his face.
24 – Chances are limited for Juve but Alvaro Morata gets a sight of goal and curls wide of the far post under pressure from Alba.
25 – Claudio Marchisio is next to try his luck for the visitors, but lifts his well-struck effort just over the crossbar.
37 – After a brief lull, Juve have claims for a penalty turned down. Paul Pogba is felled by Alba as he bursts into the penalty area, but the referee waves play on and replays show the contact occurred outside the box anyway.
HT – Juventus 0 Barcelona 1
49 – Rakitic breaks forward as Barca look to extend their advantage early in the second half, but Suarez’s eventual effort is tipped wide by Buffon.
51 – Barca’s fearsome attacking threesome combine brilliantly to tee up Messi for a shot at goal, but the Argentine lifts his effort over the crossbar.
55 – Goal: Marchisio starts the move with a delightful back-heel into the path of Lichtsteiner. The right-back rolls a pass across for Tevez in the centre, but his shot on the turn is stopped by a diving Marc-Andre ter Stegen. However, ex-Real Madrid forward Morata, who scored in both semi-finals against his former club, pounces on the goalkeeper’s parry to knock home.
67 – After Tevez fires narrowly over, Juve have further penalty appeals turned down following a tangle between Pogba and Alves in the box.
68 – Goal: Vintage Messi. He drives forward, forcing the defenders back and strikes for goal. Buffon gets down to keep the shot out but Suarez pounces on the rebound to fire into the ceiling of the net.
72 – Barcelona denied a third. Celebrations are cut short as Neymar heads the ball off his own right hand and into the back of the net. It’s far from deliberate, but a goal would have been harsh on Juventus had it been given.
78 – Xavi comes on for Iniesta to make his final Barcelona appearance.
87 – Suarez lands awkwardly as he tries to bring a ball down under pressure from Leonardo Bonucci. The Uruguayan pops up after a minute or so on the ground – some useful time wasted in the process.
89 – Marchisio makes a probing run forward and drives a shot back across goal. Ter Stegen does brilliantly to keep his feet moving, diving back to his left to knock wide.
90+7 – Goal: Juve pile forward for a late free-kick, but Barcelona deal with the threat and break three against one. Pedro rolls a pass to Neymar on the left and the Brazilian wraps up the win with the final kick of the match.
FT – Juventus 1 Barcelona 3
CONGRATULATIONS TO BARCA! UEFA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE 2015 CHAMPIONS.