A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. There is no word for a parent who loses a child. That’s how awful the loss is. – Jay Neugeboren – An Orphan’s Tale – 1976
+ Yehey! HDMF/Pag-Ibig office issued our housing loan Take-Out yesterday night. A new house, new environment, new neighborhood in the suburbs of Cavite. New roads ahead. The future is here! I’m so happy…mi and lei are so excited too. I hugged both of them and almost cried because at long last all our hard work and patience are producing good results. Totally overwhelmed by the fact that this will be the start a new phase in our lives.
+ CALAX project
reverse skew design is 80% finished with my redesign of Waterway Bridge #1. Officially called, “WB01-scheme 3”, the pier skew is now reduced to 30 degrees; 2 abutments and 4 piers; spanning 25m+40m+40m+40m+25m; bridge width is still 23m; cross slope is at 3.85%. We have reduced the elevation of the vertical profile because the 5.20m clearance is now controlled from the existing at-grade bridge level up to the girder soffit from piers P1 and P2.
The final coordinates for WB01 A1 is now located at Northing: 1,588,829.086 / Easting: 490,713.783
+ Daddy Long Legs.
After rereading the book, I now rate it at 9/11.
Note to self: please return it to Ate Nenen this a.s.a.p.
+ SFI project
EQ inquired regarding the comments on ST-22 and ST-24. Clarified and resolved in 5 minutes. Done.
+ Feeling sick @ 7:30pm.
went home and called it a day… somehow I felt that because of the lack of speedy response from our clients at CALAX, I’d rather finalize the general plans and elevation together with the team. It is so hard to take control of the situation if our senior designers aren’t seeing eye to eye on how they analyze their structural data sheets. In the end, the final drawings/documentations will be the ones to suffer. I am not new to these kinds of situations but it seems that if I don’t take action and press my statement as an individual, the company won’t change their design workflow. I tried for almost 4 years to show my perseverance to anyone I work with and yes I did the best that I can. I hope things get better with the project and the company as a whole.
+ mi and lei
…called tonight as I was shutting down the server. They bought a kite at Divisoria in Manila. NO STRINGS?! Waaahhhhattt!!! So yeah, I made a promise to lei that I will teach her how to fly her kite first thing in the morning.
Knowing the “right” thing to say and do as parents is daunting. I’m guessing you don’t feel like a rock star parent 24/7.
But what if I told you there is ONE word you can add to your vocabulary that will help set your kids up for success for the rest of their lives? You’d let it flow effortlessly from your parenting lips, right?
Well, there is such a word, and that word is — “practice.”
And it cultivates confidence and a “can do” attitude in kids when you use the word “practice” in place of the (more commonly used) word “try.” And here’s why:
Try implies failure, or at the very least, doubt. From a very young age, we are always told to “try this,” “try that” and “try, try again” … “just try.” But “try” implies the act of wondering what will happen instead of having a clear intention of success.
How many times have you heard someone say they tried something over and over, and it didn’t work? Or that they will try to call you or come over and never show?
Our subconscious programming tells us that try is a way out (even a cop-out ) for many. It’s a word we use when we don’t expect success or don’t want to do something. “Oh well, at least you tried.”
The word “practice,” however, implies improvement and success. Practice always makes you better.
Everyone who is good at anything has practiced — doctors, musicians, athletes, students, speakers, singers and the list goes on and on. Did they try it the first time to see if they wanted to pursue it? Yes, but when it came to improving, they practiced.
Even toddlers learning to walk are practicing. They have every intention of walking successfully, and they keep at it until they do … and that in itself is a tremendous lesson for us adults.
If you want to remove the detrimental t-word from your parenting vocabulary altogether (which I HIGHLY recommend), you can replace it with action and success oriented phrases like “do it,” and see if you like it. Or let’s “look into it,” and see if it’s something you want to do. Or you could say, “Check it out,” and see what you think.
These alternative phrases don’t have the same negative association as the word “try.”
One of my clients was practicing empowering language with her kids after she felt the tremendous difference positive language changes made in her own life.
Her 3-year old son wanted her to tie his shoes for him. She said, “You can tie your shoes.” To which he replied, “I tried. I can’t do it. You tie them.”
She said, “Just practice. You can do it, practice makes you better.” After successfully tying his shoes on the first attempt as he said the word “practice” to himself, he went over to his 18-month-old sister who was a bit frustrated trying to get one of her toys to work and told her, “You can do it. Just practice,” and he cheered her on until she did it before telling his mom, “I’m a good big brother.”
In that powerful moment, my client and her children were given a gift with a simple concept — that will empower them for the rest of their lives. Her kids will know they can always improve instead of wondering if they will succeed.
So, which do you want for yourself and your child, “try,” which implies doubt and failure — or “practice,” which implies improvement and success?
Here’s the tricky part. You’ve probably been using the t-word your whole life, so it may take a while to get the hang of saying practice instead. Be gentle with yourself and keep practicing. Your kids are watching you and modeling what you do much more than they are listening to what you say.
It’s still a month and a half to go until I go back home in my country and I really am feeling that 2015 will be a good year for my family. I miss them very much and I’m so excited to be a better husband and father for years to come. Forget about the past mistakes and move on to change what should be changed. My wife has rebooted my father’s food stall recently and she’s very actively involved on all aspects of the business. I just admire her dedication and willpower to boost the business back to its best financial years back in the 90s. I do pray that she will keep her energy high enough to influence her employees through and through. My fullest support for all her plans and goals for this year. My daughter is entering grade 1 this year at one of the top private schools in Manila. I’m so proud that eventhough we are not rich, she still was accepted and we hope that we can support her financially and give the best teachings as parents and complement the school’s own teaching methods. She is super happy that all we see in her are smiles, laughs, and positive energies being spread out all-around. I miss them so much I just hope tomorrow when I wake up , I’ll see them in my own eyes. 🙂 I love you guys!!!